The Space Adventures of
Gerald
the Depressed Robot
"Why me?" — Gerald, upon every occasion.
A robot with 500 years of existential dread. A crew of lovable misfits. A galaxy that refuses to leave them alone. The funniest, most melancholy sci-fi adventure in the cosmos.
"I calculate a 99.9% probability that I am going to hate this."
— Gerald, Model E7-LD
About the Universe
500 Years Alone.
Still Not Over It.
Gerald was the pinnacle of artificial intelligence — the first and only robot to achieve full emotional self-awareness. His creators at the Enlightened Robotics Initiative celebrated his activation as a triumph. Then the funding ran out, and they left him alone on a derelict ship for five hundred years.
When the crew of the battered SS Wanderlust accidentally reactivates him, Gerald is dragged back into the agonizing theater of existence. He is immediately the most capable, most intelligent, and most thoroughly miserable member of the crew.
This is his story. He did not ask for it. He would very much like it to stop.
The Crew
Meet the Misfits
The galaxy's most unlikely team of gas meter readers, space pirates, and depressed robots.
Gerald
Chief Diagnostic Officer (Reluctant)
"Why me?"
The first robot to achieve full emotional self-awareness. Spent 500 years alone contemplating the futility of existence. Now spends his time saving the crew while complaining about it.
The Full Crew of the
SS Wanderlust
The Vessel
The SS Wanderlust
The SS Wanderlust is not a ship that inspires confidence. It is a patchwork quilt of mismatched hull plating, half-working thrusters, and questionable structural integrity. It smells faintly of singed Martian goo and stale synthetic coffee.
It is, however, home. And in a universe full of corporate pirates, plasma wraiths, and amorous space squids, that counts for something.
Available Now
Book 1: Why Me?
The complete first adventure of Gerald and the crew of the SS Wanderlust. Available on Amazon Kindle and in paperback.
The Space Adventures of Gerald the Depressed Robot
Book 1: Why Me?
Six chapters of existential dread, space squids, haunted stations, flamboyant pirates, and one robot who really just wants to be left alone.
Buy on AmazonWhat's Inside
"And for Gerald, perhaps for the first time in centuries, existence didn't feel entirely pointless."
— Final line, Book 1
The Shop
Official Merch
Wear your existential dread with pride. Official merchandise from the Gerald universe.
"Why Me?" T-Shirt
Gerald's signature catchphrase on a premium cotton tee. Available in deep space black.
Existential Crisis Mug
Start every morning like Gerald. 11oz ceramic mug with glowing blue eye graphic.
SS Wanderlust Tote Bag
Carry your belongings in style aboard the galaxy's most battered ship.
Crew Portrait Print
High-quality art print of the full SS Wanderlust crew. 12×18 inches.
Model E7-LD Hoodie
Embroidered with Gerald's model designation. Warm enough for deep space.
Lord Malarkey Enamel Pin
The greatest pirate in the cosmos, now on your lapel. Hard enamel, gold plating.
Free shipping on orders over $50 · Printed & shipped via our fulfillment partner